September 9, 2008

Decisions, Decisions

For the past several years, I've been playing the clarinet with an amateur symphonic band. We practice once a week for three hours, and hold two concerts every year. I enjoy it because it gives me an excuse to play the clarinet (I really wouldn't, otherwise), and it allows me to socialize with other fellow musicians.

Our season usually runs from September to March, and it so happens that today is the start of the new season. When I found out I was pregnant with PK, I had every intention of coming back for the 2008-2009 season. After all, she was due in early August and band didn't start up until early September. Plenty of time to get settled into a routine with her. Now, however, I'm not so sure if going to band practice so soon after she was born is such a great idea. Sure, the hubby can take care of her no problem while I'm away, especially now that we're bottle-feeding on occasion. That being said, I still don't get a whole lot of sleep these days, and being out for practice from 6:30pm to 9:30pm once a week can be very taxing with a newborn.

Right now, I'm leaning towards just skipping out for the fall session and re-joining come January, when I know I'll have a better handle on things. Still, doing so breaks my heart and I can't help but wonder if I could pull it off for the fall session, but in the end, I think that it's for the best. It's not likr I'm giving it up completely - just taking a bit of a break.
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Fawn said...

I totally get this. In the early stages with Jade, life felt so demanding, I felt like I was giving up all sorts of great opportunities to perform, socialize, whatever. Although I loved having Jade and being home with her, it sometimes felt stifling, too.

Even with this pregnancy, I've thought about things I won't be able to do (a local theatre company is putting on "Chicago" - argh!).

But in retrospect, the time goes so fast. I accomplished quite a lot in this last year! There's so much time to do these things after PK/Jade/Nugget become a little more self-sufficient.

Maybe you can take your clarinet out on band nights anyway, and play a little concert for PK for half an hour or so. :)

Meandering Michael said...

Life was always much easier for both of us after Fawn got out of the house and did something different. She was always reluctant to leave and was very, very eager to get back when she DID go out, but it was good for her.

You might find that a tiring three hours a week is just the thing you need to keep you refreshed and enthusiastic about motherhood.