December 24, 2008

A Dose of Reality

While I've really enjoyed hanging out with my mommy friends every week, I have come to conclusions:

1. Apart from us all having babies, I don't really have much in common with most of them.
2. Once we return to work, most of us will probably not hang out anymore.
3. I don't really share the same parenting views as most of these moms.

Common Bonds
I really don't have much in common with some of these moms. We all come from different walks of life. I have very in-your-face opinions about politics, religion, and professional sports, which would piss most people off. I am a super-geek who can get lost for hours in a geeky side-project (much to the hubby's dismay, at times, even though he himself is a fellow geek). This is definitely not the type of thing that most women are into. I feel more comfortable around my guy friends than with my female friends, with a few exceptions.

Post-Mat-Leave Life
I think that life after mat-leave will be very different for all of us. Right now, we all have time on our side (even if our babies do seem to take up most of that time). We can meet on a weekly basis in the middle of the day, because most of us aren't working right now. Things will be very different once we return to work. We'll have to balance working with making sure that we get quality time with our babies. Getting together on a weekly basis will simply not be possible, because we just won't have that kind of time anymore.

Parenting Style
I feel like a bit of an outsider in the mommy group. Most of the moms in the group are big on cloth diapers, bed-sharing, breast-feeding, and baby-wearing. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but that just isn't my bag. We did flirt with the idea of going with a cloth diaper service, but realistically, I don't think that the eco-footprint of the cloth diaper service would be any better than the eco-footprint of going with gDiapers instead. The bed-sharing thing is just foreign to me. I know that many moms are into it, but I don't get it. I'd be terrified of smushing my baby to death. Besides, I just find it awkward to sleep in the same bed as your baby. I think that baby needs his/her own little personal space. PK LOVES her room. I've yapped enough about the beast-feeding thing and I won't go into it anymore. In a nutshell: I would've loved to have done it for longer, but formula-feeding is not the end of the world. And finally, baby-wearing. I love the concept, but PK is just not into that. She even fusses in her sling now. Somehow I end up feeling bad about the fact that PK isn't into her carrier. So I find that all I can do with regards to these things is smile and nod.

I may have given the impression that I hate my mommy group or am annoyed by some of the moms in the group. That is not at all what I was trying to get at. I'm just saying that were it not for our babies, these moms and I would probably not be friends. I hope this doesn't come off as me knocking them. The moms in the group are all very nice, friendly, and intelligent, and we do have some enjoyable chats. I'm just saying that the fact that we all had babies at around the same time doesn't make us all BFFs. That's not to say that it hasn't been a blast. It is nice to have a support network as a new mom. I swear I'd go nuts if I didn't have these weekly meetings to look forward to. I've even made a few good friends that I'm sure that I'll stay in touch with through the year. People come and go in our lives, and most of the ladies in the group will certainly come and go from my life. Wherever life takes us however, I hope that we all look back upon this time and cherish the good memories.

1 comment:

fawn said...

It's definitely a lot harder to get together after the mat leave is over. Life is so much busier when you're a working parent. At the same time, it gets easier to leave the kiddies in the care of a babysitter once they get older, and life slowly returns to "normal". :)

As for the babywearing, you may find the sling comes in useful again if PK goes through a phase where she wants to be held (like partway through a walk after she's learned to walk and you've ditched the stroller) or when you're travelling. At that point, it becomes handy for distributing her weight in a hip carry. :)