Back in September, I was pondering whether or not to continue playing with the symphonic band that I've been in on and off for the past 8 years or so. At the time, I'd opted to take a hiatus for the first half of the season, with plans to return to playing in January.
In early December, I once again found myself at a bit of a crossroads. Was it worth coming back in January 2009? On the one hand, I know that I'm not an amazing clarinet player, but the band at least forced me to keep playing. Also, one of my best friends from university also plays in the band. We both have ridiculously busy schedules, so it was an excuse for us to hang out. On the other hand, the band is made up of mostly students, most of whom are in their late teens (ack!) and early 20s. I, on the other hand, am a 29-year-old mother in IT. There are a few of us senior members in the band, but we are few and far-between. We are mostly surrounded by kiddies whose priorities are much much different from those of us boring old married folk.
In the end, I have decided to ditch the band and move on to bigger and better things. Music is still a HUGE part of my life, and I also want it to be a huge part of PK's life (that is, if she even LIKES music in the same way). I also know that I am as lazy as can be when it comes to practicing on my own. I guess that if I don't have an end goal (e.g. concert, impressing music teacher), then there's really nothing to motivate me to play.
So here's my plan. I own a violin, which has been sitting in its case gathering dust for 5 years now. I'd gotten it as a birthday present under the delusion that I'd be able to teach mysellf how to play it. I play clarinet, sax, flute, piano, and a teensy bit of guitar, so I figured that playing the violin would be no biggie. Well, I was wrong. It is FREAKING HARD to play! So freaking hard to play that I gave up on it. Until last week, when I decided to sign myself up for violin lessons. I am both excited and nervous about these lessons. Aside from music class in middle school and high school, I have never really had any "formal" musical training. Besides, when I attempt to play the violin, I sound like a dying cat. I really hope that these lessons change all that.
While I am sad to be officially leaving the band, I think that this decision is for the best. It is time for me to move on, and what better way to do this than to explore uncharted musical territory?