I am very much against celebrating Valentine's Day. In my opinion, it's a stupid Hallmark Holiday that was created to break up couples (way too many girls expecting to be treated like goddesses by their significant others, while the significant others stress and spend way too much money on this one day) or to make singles feel inferior. And yet, February 14th, 2009 was an important day for the hubby and me. It was the day when PK spent the night at my parents' place while the hubby and I took a much-needed evening to ourselves. It was PK's first night away from home since she was born, and our first true night to ourselves since she was born.
The hubby and I have been married for a little over 5.5 years, and we've enjoyed a great marriage thus far. As with all couples, we've had our ups and downs, but we've always come out on top. That being said, the dynamics of our relationship definitely changed after PK was born. Before she was born, we could focus solely on our relationship. After she was born, however, it was all about PK. Feeding PK. Making sure that PK was happy. Putting PK to bed. Buying clothes for PK. We got so caught up with taking care of PK, that we didn't really take care of ourselves.
Someone once told me that relationships are like gardens. You need to nurture the garden, otherwise all of the plants will die. I didn't really think much of that back then. I had the whole "love conquers all" mentality. Now I know better. When you have a baby, your focus shifts, and caring for that relationship garden is more important than ever. Otherwise, once your child is all grown up, you wake up one morning only to realize that the person you're married to is a complete stranger, even though you've been together for 20-odd years.
That's why Valentine's Day this year was so important. We were able to take some time to focus on us, and us alone. We didn't do all that much that evening - we just caught a movie and then went out to dinner. It was by no means the most exciting date I ever went on, but it was perhaps the most important date that I ever went on. For the first time in six months, we truly had some time to reconnect. We were reminded of what it was like before PK had arrived.
Don't get me wrong - PK is a tremendous source of joy in our lives. I just don't want her to be the ONLY source of joy in our lives.
Raising A Screen Smart Kid in The New York Times
5 weeks ago