Even though under the original plan I'd be working part-time until early August, I still feel that I'd miss so many important and exciting PK milestones! Sure, my mom would be looking after PK on days when I'd be at work, but she'd get to see all of these cool PK milestones and I'd be at work, not seeing them for myself. And now, my master plan has changed.
Just for the record, I DO plan on returning to work. Many of my friends (mostly guys) keep asking me if I'll be returning to work full-time now that PK is around. I probably shouldn't feel this way, but I find that question to be insulting. Why wouldn't I return to work? I NEED to return to work - it's important to me. That's not to say that stay-at-home-moms don't have a difficult job. Their job is worse than mine will ever be. Over-worked, under-paid, and under-appreciated. Just freaking great. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. I have the utmost respect for her. At the same time, I didn't go through 4 years of university and 7 years of building a career to just drop it all. (For the record, my mom has a university degree too, but then had me and never had a chance to work since she chose to stay home to raise my sister and me.)
So going back to work is a definite yes. It's just a matter of when. Do I take the full year of mat-leave, returning to full-time work in early August? Or do I return to work in April or May, working part-time until the end of August, and return to work full-time thereafter? I'm leaning towards the latter. All I know is that my original plan isn't flying.
At any rate, the day I return to work is fast approaching, and it's making me nervous. What do I do about child-care once I'm back at work full-time? The hubby has put us on several daycare waiting lists, and has been following up with them. Even still, TWO daycares have managed to either lose our application or spontaneously remove us from the list. WTF? That aside, do I want PK to go to daycare? How do I know that she'll be properly stimulated in daycare? I guess to determine that, we'll need to go on daycare tours and ask lots of questions.
The other option is to go with a nanny. My sister-in-law has a nanny for her two kids, and likes the nanny just fine. But nannies are whole other set of problems. How do I know that I can trust the nanny? How do I know that the nanny won't snatch PK away? How do I know that the nanny will be hygenic enough around PK. Simple things like, does she wash her hands after she goes to the washroom? Sounds dumb, but I really don't want PK picking up more germs than she needs to (says the germophobe).
But then again, the nanny might be a good option. I can continue sending PK to storytime. I can continue sending PK to music lessons. That way she gets to interact with other kids her age. I don't have to pull PK out of bed early in the morning to drag her to daycare, where she'll probably catch a cold all the freaking time. (And make me sick too - did I mention that I'm REALLLY cranky when I get sick? Arrgh...decisions, decisions!
Besides, daycare, I worry about my career. My boss has hired somebody to replace me on my team while I'm on leave. When I get back, he'll still be there. My team is all junior devs, and I was the most senior one there. Everyone looked up to me. I was being groomed for a promotion. It was going really well. Upon my return, there will be TWO of us senior devs. What happens to my grooming? Is there really room for two of us? Sure, it's always good to have two experienced techies on a team. We can certainly learn from each other. That part will be good. But I worry that there may be competition.
I had lunch with my boss a few weeks ago, and asked how I'd fit in with the team since the other guy would still be there. He said it would be good to have two senior devs on board. Yup, freaking great. But I got a strange vibe from him which led me to believe that I was being groomed no more. Paranoia? Perhaps...But how do I politely ask my boss, "Hey, do you think I'll still get that promotion now that you've got this other senior guy here?" without sounding like a total turd? I'll let you know if I ever figure that one out.
Yup, all I know is that I'll be returning to work. I don't know how I'll make it work, but I will. Somehow. Tons of people seem to manage, so I should too.