May 1, 2009

The Definition of Normal

What exactly constitutes a so-called normal relationship (marriage, dating)? Is spending too much time together a bad thing? Is spending too little time together equally-bad?

I know some couples who do EVERYTHING together. They want to spend as much time together as possible, and even when they're not together, they're always in touch. Is that a bad thing? Is it borderline obsessive?

I also know some couples who don't spend all that much time together. They go off and do their own thing most of the time, but come together for some good quality time. Does that mean that they don't care about each other? Or does it just mean that they have different interests but that the time that they spend together is extra-special?

Is there such a thing as a middle-ground? There most likely is. But how many couples have this middle ground relationship? How many couples' relationships fall under either extreme? Are the extreme ends considered to be unbalanced/unhealthy, or are they just a reflection of the personalities of the two individuals involved in the relationship?

My personal opinion is that each relationship is unique, and that couples in successful relationships manage to tailor their relationships around their personalities. They do what works best. I also think that successful relationships evolve with time. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I see it as a good thing. Evolution, after all, comes about to accommodate changing circumstances. In the case of a relationship, we can see evolution due to change in relationship status (going from dating to being married), or due to the arrival of a baby. The evolution may be subtle, yet significant. Maybe a married couple who spent all of their time together now must spend more time apart after the arrival of a baby in order to give one of the parents a well-deserved break. Or maybe a married couple who spent more time apart before having a baby comes together more BECAUSE of the baby.

Whatever your relationship may be, one thing matters: happiness. If you're happy, then hey, do whatever floats your boat, right?

Readers: What's your relationship to your significant other like?

1 comment:

Mr. Shiny and New said...

Mrs. Shiny and New and I spend a lot of time together but lots of that time is sleeping. Either one of us is babysitting or we are both sleeping. But we enjoy spending time together with the baby: she recently started walking and she is also doing all kinds of new things. Just today she started pretending to talk on her toy phone... and she isn't even talking yet. But to keep our sanity we often drop her off at my parents' place for an overnight stay so the two of us can spend some real time together.