August 18, 2009

More Chopped Liver

I totally feel like chopped liver these days. I thought that once I started back at work, PK would realize how much she misses me and would become really attached to me, the way that she is with the hubby. I was WRONG. Sure, that happened for maybe a week. But then it went away. I thought that maybe daycare might make her more attached to me. She was all teary-eyed the first time I dropped her off for an hour, and was really excited to see me when I picked her up, but since then, she hasn't really freaked out when being dropped off or picked up at daycare. I should be grateful, but part of me wonders if it's because she's just not that into me.

The fact is that I am still PK's #3 favorite person, and that's not cool. My mom is #1 and the hubby is #2. The hubby thinks that I'm overreacting and that PK really likes me. It's easy for him to say that, because he's #2! At the rate things are going, I might be bumped down to #4 or #5 if she starts becoming more attached to the caregivers at daycare. I sometimes wonder if her apparent apathy is my fault. I guess I'm not nearly as fun as the hubby is around her. He seems like such a natural. And so does my mom. And even the caregivers at daycare. I am the bad cop. I lay down the law. I enforce the eating and potty-training. I clean up the mess around the high chair while the hubby takes PK down to the basement to play after dinner. I'm the one who misses bathtime due to kitchen cleanup so that the hubby and I have some remnant of an evening together after PK goes to bed. And I'm the one who leaves the room after storytime so that she can have some peace and quiet while the hubby puts her to bed.

(I'd like to point out that I am by no means accusing the hubby of not doing his part with housework and whatnot. He helps out quite a bit, and whenever I decide to do some cleanup - the mess really gets to me, and the thought of PK's high chair surrounded by crumbs and gobs of food is rather unbearable - he always takes PK and plays with her, and does her potty training.)

Maybe she sees that and thinks that I don't like her as much. Maybe I'm just not as caring towards her as I ought to be. I'm so jealous of those moms who say that they have such a bond with their kids. That their kids know that they're in the room without even hearing/seeing them. They wake up when their kids cry. I don't. The hubby does. What the hell is wrong with me???

But I do love PK and I cherish the time that we spend together. I guess I need to beef up the quality time a bit so that she knows that I care. Maybe she thinks that I don't and that's why she acts this way.


Mr. Shiny and New said...

I read somewhere that children sometimes do have favourite parents and that they switch allegiances often over time. But I agree with your husband: she does love you a lot. My daughter is sometimes similarly indifferent with my wife, but I'm certain it's because they see so much of each other. When mommy isn't around the baby is always asking for her and is always thrilled to see her. So I wouldn't worry if I were you.

Katherine said...

I stumbled on your blog looking for daycare transition info (DD is 2 and just switched to a new daycare this week and it's been tough). I have to say though my daughter goes through phases, although in general I'm #1 and hubby is #2. When she gets really into mommy-mode, we indulge for a couple days and then plan some daddy-kiddo activities without mommy and that seems to help even her affections back out. We also trade off evening time - one of us cooks and the other cleans up so we each get some play time. But we've just acknowledged that we each have times we're #1 and times when we're not. Grandparents are almost 1000 miles away, so for better or worse, they're not in the running...
I'm sure your daughter loves you, she just loves and interacts with you and your husband differently - you are different people after all :)