July 8, 2010


When it rains, it pours. And it's pouring toilet-training stories in the last couple of days, isn't it? Well, time for another one. I apologize in advance, because this one's kind of gross.

Last night when we got home, I took PK to the toilet, as per usual. She protested, as per usual. I pulled her diaper off. It was dry. I plunked her on the toilet, and within a few seconds, she peed a big, giant pee. Then she sat there, happily singing. I asked her if she was done, and proceeded to have her wipe herself, flush, and wash her hands. Before we made it over to the sink, PK said, "Poo!" I thought she was stalling, but I put her back on anyway.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, she pooped. I took her off the toilet, and proceeded to wipe her bum. I let her wipe her crotch, but I prefer to wipe her bum, because I don't want poop everywhere. There was only one wet wipe left. Argh! As I was getting ready to wipe her bum, I noticed that she had her left hand in her crack. Gross. I yanked the hand away, and she started to cry. Great. I wiped her bum, and proceeded to get another wipe. Damn. We were out of wipes. So I used toilet paper. Except that the toilet paper got stuck in her butt. So now she was really freaking out. First, from my yanking her hand out of her bum, and second, from toilet paper stuck in her butt. I quickly removed the toilet paper from the butt, and whisked her to the sink to wash her hands, trying to keep the contaminated hand away from things.

Well, I obviously didn't do a good enough job, because before I even had a chance to wash her hand, she starts rubbing her left eye with her left hand. Although she made a fist when she rubbed her eye (she'd shoved her fingers in her butt) and although there had been no poop on her fingers after I pulled her hand out, IT WAS SUPER-DUPER GROSS. All I could think of was the eye infection waiting to happen. And with my luck, she wouldn't have an eye infection, but I would. And probably like that psycho eye infection that I had last year. Just frigging great.

I couldn't very well wash PK's eye out with soap. She would FREAK on me, and rightfully so. But I couldn't just leave it the way it was. So I took a regular diaper wipe (not the toilet wipes that we ran out of, because we ran out of those), asked PK to close her eyes, and wiped her eyelid and area around her eye. I don't know if that really did anything, but it's better than nothing. I think.

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