year, especially since it was the first birthday since PK was born
that I got to celebrate in style. (The hubby threw me a kick-ass party
last year). That and 30 is a cool milestone.
But 31 is different. I am not looking forward to my birthday at all.
It is just a reminder of how much I hate the direction that my career
has taken and how I feel like I've accomplished nothing in my 9 or so
years in the workforce. And that leads to an enormous amount of
apathy. I feel like a working zombie. I get my stuff done, but the joy
and passion are gone. I couldn't tell about the latest Java
technologies, and I could care less. Technology doesn't excite me the
way it used to. Quite frankly, I don't even know what makes me tick
anymore. Worse yet is that I don't feel like I'm in the position to
make a drastic move because of PK. Childcare arrangements and income
hamper my adventurousness.
Truth be told, I don't even know what other career I'd like to get
into. Well, I kind of do, but I'm too much of a coward to make a big
leap. And, this sounds silly, but I would feel like a career outside
of IT would be a waste of my engineering degree. Or rather, I'd
somehow be a disappointment to my parents if I got into something like
photography (which I totally love), which technically doesn't even
require a degree.
And now it's almost 2am and PK will be up at 7:15am and as usual I
will be sleep-deprived. Plus I totally messed up a dessert that I was
bring over to my parents' place on Saturday for my birthday
celebration. The dessert required 14 eggs, was a bitch to prepare
(first time making it) and I didn't leave it in the oven long enough
so it ended up looking like a yellow gooey mess. If you have me on
Facebook, be sure to check out the pic I posted of the disastrous end
product. Needless to say, this just adds to my pissy mood. I will
probably obsess over this recipe for the entire weekend. But I
Hopefully I'll get out of this funk. Maybe all I need is a new
sportscar to make it all better. Happy birthday to me.
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