February 12, 2011

The Scale

Staying fit is a challenge for most people, and it's even more difficult when you have a child. I don't know how people with more than one kid manage. I try to fit in some form of exercise every day. I went through a few periods in my life when I gained some weight, and I'm traumatized. I never want to gain weight like that again. Granted, it wasn't a huge amount of weight. Probably 5-7kg all 3 times, but still. Not being able to fit into my pants is a bit scarring. At its worst, I split my pants during a career fair in 4th-year university. Not cool.

So staying fit is a huge deal to me. My workout routine never stays the same. It seems to vary from time to time, depending on what I have time for, what I feel like, and how bored I get with my usual routine. My new thing is running up the stairs. It started over the Christmas break, and I've tried to keep it up. I run for about 18 minutes total. My house has a buttload of stairs, so it's a great workout. I also calculated that on a normal day, I walk a total of 3km, getting to and from work. Somedays, I manage to get a lunch walk in, which means I end up with 3.5 or 4km total for the day. Plus the running up the stairs, and sometimes, push-ups, and and a hangboard workout.

Lately, my mom has been on my case over my weight. Okay, more like for the past 4 years now, with a break in-between while I was pregnant with PK. She keeps telling me that I'm an anorexic. I have a pretty healthy appetite. I try to keep to relatively healthy foods, though I'm bad on weekends. We order in on Friday (pizza) and Saturday nights, and we often have brunch either on Saturday or Sunday. I love baking and I very much enjoy my baked goods. I usually bake a tasty treat once a week. Last week was bread pudding. The week before was brownies. I don't tend to have too much of my baking, though I'm often tempted. The hubby very much enjoy my baked goods, as does my family. My sis and mom love my pecan pie and tea biscuits. Damn. I'm getting hungry.

I think I digressed. Ooops. So back to my original point. My mom thinks I'm an anorexic. She thinks that while I have a healthy appetite, I spend an awful lot of time exercising and she thinks that I'm too skinny. My dad tells my mom that I'm too skinny, but won't tell me to my face. My sis also thinks that I'm too skinny. My friends, however, don't seem to think so. The hubby says I look fine. I've asked my family doctor on more than one occasion in the past 2 years about my weight relative to my height, and he says that my BMI is fine and that there's no reason to worry.

So what's the deal? I know that I have body image issues. I get paranoid over my weight and start saying that my ass is getting too big. The hubby says that I look fine. I'd like to think that he's being honest. Then I weigh myself, only to find out that I've either lost weight or haven't changed. Is my scale broken? Am I seeing something in the mirror that's not there? Who's right? Do I have a problem that I don't want to admit to? I don't want to be one of those girls. And I don't want to give PK the wrong impression. Being a girl is tough enough. I don't need her having body image problems.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Feel free to be brutally honest.


Fawn said...

I'd say you're clearly on the thin side of the spectrum, but from photos I've seen, you look healthy. You look the way a lot of women wish they did, and not just skinny, but fit. Besides, your doctor has told you you're fine.

I also think that if you gained 10 pounds, or even 15, you'd still be beautiful and not only that, you'd still be thin.

The only thing *I* think is unhealthy is the part where you beat yourself up. How do you talk to yourself?

Thank God your hubs is such a great guy. I've heard guys who give their wives a hard time about their weight. Michael always tells me I'm beautiful, no matter how awful I think I look, and you know what, I *know* he's sincere. Sounds like your guy is, too.

I hope PK sees how much her daddy loves her mommy, and also sees that her mommy loves herself, no matter what.

Fawn said...

Hmm, on rereading, I wouldn't pick the word "skinny". Skinny sounds so negative, and I didn't mean that at all. *sigh* I shouldn't comment on blogs at 11:39 p.m.

Mr. Shiny and New said...

I'm with Fawn on this one. You might be skinny. Or thin. Or lean. Or whatever word you want to use. But you are also healthy, according to your dr. Other than that, trust your husband's opinion. He's a smart man.

In short, don't worry about your weight. I'd even recommend not using the scale. And maybe indulge a bit more in your baked goods. You are way above average in terms of daily exercise, so it won't hurt. Most important thing: relax. :)