Don't Touch That!

I seriously don't know what it is about toddlers, but it seems to me that they are magnetically attracted to the most disgusting things ever. PK, for example, seems to revel in all things nasty. Here's a list of PK's infractions of the gross variety:

1. Touching the toilet seat when I take her to a public bathroom, after I repeatedly tell her, "No touch!"
2. Touching the feminine hygiene product garbage bin while sitting on the toilet. Of course, I can see it happen, but this kid is like the freaking Flash. Before I can even utter the words "No touch!" she's already done damage.
   
3. Picking up a piece of crumpled up tissue from the floor
4. Crawling under the bathroom stall. This was courtesy of Jonathan, one of her little friends from music class, who she saw crawling out of the stall one day and thought it would be fun to imitate. She's done this twice. The last time resulted in a time-out. Needless to say, she hasn't tried it ever again.
5. Refusing to wash her hands after using the toilet. Oftentimes, we have to run after her when she finishes on the toilet, and bring her back into the washroom to wash her hands. Not cool.
6. Trying to touch your face after she wipes her bum. One word: GROSS. I don't know what part of "That's disgusting!" she doesn't understand.
7. Rubbing her eyes after using the toilet, but before washing her hands. I honestly don't know how she hasn't gotten an eye infection from doing this. I don't want to know.
8. Licking your face in lieu of a kiss. She thinks it's funny. I think it's gross. Honestly. Where do kids pick these things up??? Again, she's gotten punished over this, yet she keeps doing it again. Obviously the punishment didn't fit the crime.
9. Sticking her hands in her mouth. Especially after touching the floor. No wonder she gets sick all the time.
10. Putting things in her mouth. I honestly thought we were past this phase. I understand that babies like to explore thing with their mouths, but this is ridiculous. She does more exploration with her mouth now, than she did as a baby. (Yes, I realize that this can be totally misconstrued.)

You can imagine how extra utterly unpleasant this is for a germophobe like me. I mean, I was the one who would not put PK directly on the floor in music class and storytime at the library because I thought the floor was too dirty. (BTW, it is. I take violin classes in the same room that PK has her music class. Everyone in her music class takes their shoes off. I don't take my shoes off when I have my violin lesson.) That being said, I think I've loosened up quite a bit when it comes to my germophobia. Still. I have limits. Touching the toilet seat in a public washroom IS SO NOT COOL.

I really wish I had a dollar for each time PK did something utterly and completely unhygenic. Then I'd be rich. Sick, but rich.